Something that's been weighing on my mind for the last little while: second thoughts about previously made decisions. Like OK GO says, some things really do seem like a good idea at the time, but then the brilliance loses its luster. My poetic side wants to add: like a new coin gone rusty from the bitter tears of shattered expectations. Not sure where that came from. I haven't been reading sensationalist novels lately.
So today, as a result of my lack of self control, I made up for it by taking not one, but two naps. One shortly after eating breakfast made by my too-good-to-be-true sister. I woke up to her asking me what I wanted in my oatmeal. She's only twelve, bless her, but she already has more homemaking skills than the rest of her peers put together. The second nap was in the afternoon, after wearing myself out from...just what exactly did I do today, anyway?
Cleaned in preparation for a friend to come over to sew with my Mom and sister. Exercised. Showered. Studied my scriptures for my Sunday School lesson, and Preach My Gospel just because. Made a yummy bacon-spinach-tomato salad (a BST?) for lunch. Watched some Scrubs. Fretted over calling a former professor to make sure she is still writing a recommendation for me (she lives on the west coast so I had to wait till early evening to attempt that one). Attempted to edit one of Mom's dissertation chapters, but started nodding off (due to lack of sleep, I promise).
Post-nap (part 2) I made macaroni and cheese with tomatoes. The table was still strewn about with sewing supplies, so I made my siblings eat with me in the kitchen, balancing our plates on our knees while we listened to my seven-year-old brother's iPod. The kid has good taste, I have to say. And I'm proud of that because a lot of it was informed by me.
Items I need to ban from my life:
Scrubs. Replace with job-hunting, or at least something less frivolous on YouTube.
Late-night Facebooking. Replace with journal/blog writing.
Staying up late. Replace with the missionary schedule. I honestly felt better when I was getting up by seven and going to bed at ten thirty. I never, ever got eight hours the entire time I was a missionary, but there's nothing stopping me from adhering to a better schedule now.
My recently acquired meandering attitude toward the day. Replace by honest-to-goodness planning out what I want to accomplish. If this means countless sticky notes or the need to buy a new planner, so be it.
Refined sugar. This one was already a New Year's goal, but I've slipped up a few times lately, trying to convince myself that crisps are legitimate even if they have added sugar. Or that eating my sister's chocolate chip cookies doesn't count because they're made with chick peas. (By the way, that recipe is fantastic. You can find it here.)
Feeling guilty for every bad decision I ever make, or the possible implications of being seen as less than perfect by others. ...I'll get back to you on this one.
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